Dear Big Sister,
I was going to secretly blog, as I usually secretly blog when I don't want readers to know what I think of them, but then I came across yours.
Now I say this as inoffensively as possible, but you make me so sad. I know that you are a melancholy person and for that I am too.
I have been thinking a lot lately of how scary it is to me the idea of being stuck in the same place forever. I don't want to be born, grow up, and die in the same place I have always been. I don't want to lose the option of becoming something else. Something other than this house, this town, those people.
Now I am especially upset because I see that you are stuck. You have been stuck for a long time. With that boy, now this boy, now that boy again. It makes me itch how you are stuck, especially since I know it doesn't have to be that way.
Perhaps I am wrong in my observations, but I really feel otherwise. I have a knack for observing well.
I wish I had some wise quote from an even wiser philosopher to relate my thoughts to you, but no one ever wrote about being stuck.
Additionally, I use stuck for lack of a better word.
The night you came home, crying and upset, the night the rain was coming down really hard and your dog slept with me in my bed, I wrote you a letter too.
I said I was sorry and that I wish this sort of thing didn't have to happen. I said why does this sort of thing have to happen to people like us and then my eyes became real blurry from the tears.
My eyes are blurry again.
I called my friend while you were at the police station and I cried to her too.
I just want you to know you don't have to be stuck. I want to take it away and rescue you and sprout wings and fly away from everything bad that's happened, everything we have gone through and live a life of serenity and peace and never have to put up with bad things again.
I am aching for you so. At this point my eyes have gone red and puffy and my cheeks are rather moist.
I love you.

I can't stop dreaming about Mom. She comes into our house and barges in and I hide.
I watched a show about meth and I wondered if that's what her life was like. I wonder if that's what her life still is like.

You need to sprout wings like I said I would do.
Get away from this mess of left over emotions and endless cycles.

I'm sorry I'm so scatterbrained. I miss you a lot and I wonder what you're up to. I hope you don't feel too sad most days.

I love you.
Sincerely,
Baby Sister